Rush: Caress of Steele

The Rush Limbaugh phenomenon defies all logic. How does a hate-spewing greaseball pill addict become the marauding muscle of the 'publican party? Like The Blob, any conservative who tries to stand up to this fat fuck gets absorbed--devoured by the gurgling, acidic digestive juices that dominate right-wing radio and Fux News. Hoping to God that Obama fails is Lumpbag's only chance to stay relevant.

When new RNC chair Michael Steele had the temerity to call out Limppaw as an "entertainer" who is "divisive" and "incendiary," the claws came out. Steele was summarily shredded. The next day, Steele retracted his comments, saying  "I realized the words I said wasn't what I was thinking. I was a little inarticulate. There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership."

Steele pretty much hit the ground running in panic mode, or at least with a healthy dose of blatant pandering when he undertook one of the most difficult political tasks in recent memory: how to save the badly stumbling, out-of-touch 'publican party. Even Lamehog himself sees the party as in a "sad-sack state." For his part, Steele wanted to spice up the GOP with urban appeal that was "off the hook" and full of "bling." Within a few days, he had abandoned his promised "hip-hop makeover" in favor of a "12-step program of recovery" for the GOP.

It's not a pretty sight. And that's what makes it so beautiful. In its race to self-destruction, the 'publican party has become a collection of lemmings and moths. The lemmings are the die-hard believers who would run full-speed off a cliff in blind allegiance to the divisive and incendiary commentary that Lobjaw and his ilk unleash. The moths don't know any better. They are trapped in flawed thinking that the harsh porch light they batter themselves against will somehow make the world a better place even as it slowly burns their wings off. 

Go lemmings! Go moths! It looks like natural selection is alive and well in the 21st century.

Bobby Jindal: The New Republican Diversity Pawn

When I first heard Bobby Jindal was delivering the Republican response to Barack Obama's presidential address, I was concerned that Republicans would introduce a compelling presence in their efforts to showcase capable diversity within their party. However, when the Louisiana governor walked to his "X" in front of the camera and began to speak, I was pleasantly underwhelmed.

Initially, I wasn't expecting his performance to be universally panned by Republicans and Democrats alike. After all, I saw the fawning reception Sarah Palin got with her ridiculous coming-out speech at the RNC, so I wouldn't be surprised if Jindal's Mr. Rogers act got similar high marks from the right-wing realm.

Insane. Childish. Disaster. I couldn't have come up with better superlatives myself. For once, what my ears captured was now in sync with what the rest of the country heard. Throughout the Bush II years, 'publicans blindly endorsed anything and everything that emanated from their side of the aisle. But finally, their off-kilter ideological arguments have turned in on themselves.

Some pointers for Mr. Jindal: If you live in Hurricane Katrina country and you're a Republican, be aware of the irony when you criticize the government's mishandling of the crisis. Ineffective bumbling by your own party's previous administration is not an argument for inaction by the current administration. Also, if you live in an area that was adversely affected by a natural disaster (say, I don't know--Hurricane Katrina?), don't criticize a budget item that deals with monitoring volcano activity. It seems short-sighted and hypocritical. Finally, a minor point, don't risk offending insurance companies by referring to yourself as a "pre-existing condition."

At one time, the Emperor's New Clothes (i.e., Republican talking points) were shimmering, gossamer fabrics of luxury. Today we can plainly see the capitalist pigs that were snorting in the mud beneath the platitudes.

For example:

Personal responsibility = every man for himself

At long last, naked power grabs that exploit the free market will finally be tempered by good conscience and a glimmer of fairness. The fact is, a society that is based on capitalist principles will never have a shortage of members who believe their personal liberty is defined by the wanton accumulation of vulgar quantities of wealth. This is, after all, the country that invented food-eating contests. (And speaking of irony: How is it that a Japanese person consistently wins our annual July 4 hot dog-eating contest? Where is our national pride?) In truth, most Americans are inherently kind and benevolent. But for some, chasing the all-mighty dollar is like strapping on beer goggles: They'll screw anything that moves.

Thankfully, an articulate voice has risen above the din. To President Obama, personal responsibility carries with it a populist message. He summed it up with one sound bite that exhibited both tough love and a clear understanding of the integral webbing of individuals that make up a thriving society:

"If you drop out of school, you're not just letting yourself down. You're letting your country down."

It harkens back to "Ask not what your country can do for you..." The jaded O'Reillys may scoff and the fat Limbaughs may pray for failure, but the positive energy - yes, energy - of hope cannot be denied, especially when 2/3 of the country believes in the message.